When it comes to fostering or adopting, motive matters — more than most people realize.

If someone is doing it for money, that’s the wrong motive from the start. This is a child — a real human being — who needs to be loved for who they are, not because someone needs to pay their bills. No amount of financial support from the state can ever replace what a child truly needs: safety, consistency, and love that isn’t conditional.

You need to come into fostering from a parent’s heart — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re willing. Willing to love. Willing to be patient.
Willing to learn.

Even if a child is only with you temporarily and still visits their biological parents, they deserve to feel loved and secure while they’re in your care. For however long they’re part of your home, they should feel that they belong there.

If your goal is adoption, that’s a beautiful dream — but it must come with understanding. These children come with needs, and often with wounds you can’t see at first. They’ve been pulled from the only families they’ve ever known — maybe even from multiple homes — and that kind of instability changes a child’s sense of trust.

That’s why your role is so sacred. You are the bridge between what was and what could be. Take every class, every bit of training, every piece of advice you can get. Throw out all expectations — good or bad — and just meet your child right where they are.And don’t do it alone. Make sure your spouse, your family, and your close friends are truly on board. You’ll need their support on the hard days, and their celebration on the good ones.

Because the truth is this: the motivation to foster or adopt cannot be to fill a void in you. As Dr. Phil says, “Children should not be born with a job.” And in this case, they shouldn’t be placed in your home with one either.

The only motive that works — the only one that lasts — is love.
Love that says, “You’re safe here. You belong here. You are enough.”

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💛 💬 I’m Wondering…

• What do you think draws people most toward fostering — and how can we help ensure their motives stay child-centered?
  
• If you’ve ever fostered or adopted, what helped you prepare emotionally for the realities that followed?
  
• How can your community better support foster families who are doing it for the right reasons?
  

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From my blended heart to yours 💛

Kari