I’m a mom of four biological adult children, three adult stepchildren, and three adopted children from foster care. When my husband and I met, we were both divorced, each with three biological children of our own. We fell in love fast — and five months later, we were married.

Some people have asked why we got married so quickly. The truth is, his ex-wife — though she was the one who filed for divorce — didn’t want us to date or be around their children. And on top of that, we shared a personal conviction: we didn’t want to live together or sleep together until we were married. So we jumped in with both feet — and here we are, twenty-four years later, still learning, laughing, and figuring it out as we go.

We honestly thought that blending our children would be enjoyable for them. We both had sons only two years apart — just like natural siblings might be. We both had two daughters so close in age that they were even in the same grade at school. When we first met, they all seemed to enjoy having new “friends” as siblings.

Then there were our two oldest — one boy and one girl, about five years apart. Though they weren’t close in age, they seemed to balance each other perfectly. He was fun-loving and outgoing; she was more of a bookworm and responsible. They got along easily and gave us hope that blending our families might be smooth sailing.

But what we weren’t prepared for was the quiet hurt that comes when one set of children suddenly sees their dad living with another set full-time. My husband’s children felt a little left out and maybe even replaced. Looking back now, that should’ve been obvious — of course that would cause hurt feelings — but at the time, we just didn’t see it.

So while there were fun times and new friendships forming, there was also pain simmering underneath. Blending a family isn’t just about bringing people together — it’s about healing hearts that didn’t ask to be broken in the first place.

We both came from families where our parents stayed married, and oddly enough, that inexperience with divorce handicapped us in a way. We didn’t fully understand the layers that come with blending families — the input from exes, the pull of extended family, the differing parenting styles, and the constant balance of protecting kids’ hearts while protecting our own.

It’s beautiful, but it’s also overwhelming — and at times, downright stressful. Still, I wouldn’t trade this messy, complicated, love-filled life for anything. Every laugh, every tear, every late-night talk in the kitchen has shaped us into something stronger than we were before — not perfect, but perfectly ours.

💛 I’m Wondering:
If you’re blending a family, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

• If your parents divorced when you were young, do you think that gave you perspective or empathy in your own blended family?
• When do you think it’s best to introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your children?
• Should you honor your ex’s feelings about new relationships, or is it none of their business once the marriage ends?

This space is for honest conversations — no judgment, just shared experience, faith, and a little humor along the way. ❤️

Your story might be the one that helps someone else keep going.

From my blended heart to yours 💛
Kari